A collection of letters written to the self for clarity, reasoning, healing and loving. To love oneself is the ultimate gift in being able to love another.
A dare, perhaps that you can embrace?
A woman said this once out loud. The only reason I listened was because two years prior a good ol’boy talked about something similliar.
“I went back into rehab, again.” snorting the muscus up his nose and alternately spitting tobacco into a styrofoam cup.
“Cost me 37,000$ freaking dollars to listen to a bunch of pansies, couselors and fruits tell me I had to love myself. What the F**k! Yeah, I am going to take off all my clothes and stand in front of the mirror.” another spit of brown juice into his cup.
He laughed, strange at first then he finished the story.
“Standing there in front of the mirror, they told me to say, ‘I love you’.” he laughed again, this time his outward response was anger.
“Sh*t! I can come here and put a damn dollar in the basket while you people tell me the same thing!”
The thought occured to me, perhaps I can do that and save myself some money. Standing in my room, completely naked I found I couldn’t look at myself in the mirror. Not even my eyes, my beautiful blue eyes, nope. Was not happening. So I got on my knees so only my head and shoulders were visible. Finally after half an hour I said the words.
Shocked and confused by my lack of ability to do something so simple prompted more reading and a deeper look into distractions.
Nearly two years later, a woman older talked about loving herself. She mentioned walking thorugh some amazing events in her life and that she got through them with the help of her friends, program, and God.
“I tell myself, everyday in the mirror. I love myself. I forgive myself. I set myself free.”
Again, the need for loving the self becomes paramount, only this time I am ready to hear it.
Love Letters to the Universe is the product of learning to love who I am. The only through seemed to be through myself, my memories, my fears and my pain. One day at a time I found the layers and peeled them back. Sank my teeth into despair and ripped out it’s heart. Eventually loving myself was the void I needed to fill, and once I began to open to it the healing began.
Welcome, to loving who you are. My hope is that sometime down the road you hear the words, feel the feelings, and or experience the event that opens your eyes to being loved by the one person that mattered all along; you.